I Stopped Being A Perfectionist Because of this

 We’re going to talk about Perfectionism based on the studies done by world-famous universities, including Harvard and York Universities. Furthermore, in this article we will be discussing why it is bad to be a perfectionist, and the pros and cons of perfectionism. And some of the most effective methods for overcoming perfectionism.

So let's dig deeper into the perfectionism. As per Wikipedia, perfectionism in psychology is a broad personality style characterized by a person's concern with striving for flawlessness and perfection and is accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations. other's evaluations for the record.

According to the study by York University study on perfectionism,

 Perfectionism can be divided into three dimensions as follows: The first dimension is known as self-oriented perfectionism; the other one is other-oriented perfectionism. The third one is socially prescribed perfectionism.

To talk about each of the dimensions in particular,

 Self-oriented perfectionism contains tendencies like setting exacting standards for oneself. Researchers believe that this dimension includes the salient motivational component. This motivational component serves to encourage perfectionists to avoid failure. other than this …

 Other-oriented perfection contains tendencies like having unrealistic standards for significant others, placing importance on other people's being perfect, evaluating others' performance uncompromisingly.

 Socially prescribed perfectionism, this dimension of perfectionism includes the desire to meet the standards and expectations of significant others.

So that's all I got about perfectionism. Let's move on to the pros and cons of perfectionism.

• Pros vs Cons of the perfectionism

  
  
  

  I read the Harvard Business Review articles for the research for the video and came up with the pros and cons of perfectionism.

  pros

  • So the advantages of perfectionism are quite astonishing, such as the increased likelihood of producing flawless work. Which really cool in my opinion unless you have the power to not to skip the efforts.
  • Perfectionists show higher levels of motivation towards their goals and higher level of conscientiousness. inflexible and excessively higher standards.
  • they also able to do black and white thinking(splitting) which also has some negative effects. But let’s think positively and take it as a super power.

  cons

  • So, as we all know, nothing is flawless in this world, so let's talk about the drawbacks of being a perfectionist.
  • being perfectionist is related the self directed behavior such as self blame.
  • it also leads to anxiety, anorexia and subclinical depression as well.
  • the perfectionism also includes lack of trust, feeling of hostility towards others.
  • Being a perfectionist has a number of detrimental effects. They have high levels of stress and burnout.
  • A perfectionist experiences higher levels of anxiety, which affects their mental well-being. Having higher levels of anxiety leads to the dysfunction of the digestive system and excretory system.
  • To add up more things to this stress and anxiety both have extreme detrimental effects on the human body in particular. So as I go, the list is not going to end, so let's just convince ourselves that perfectionism is not a superpower, it's an issue to resolve. So stop being a kid who says that I'm a perfectionist. you shouldn't be a perfectionist in the first place.

• why is it bad to be a perfectionist?

  
  
  

  So being this much detrimental to the humanity perfectionism does contains the effects on the society as well let me break it to you.

  There are around 3.32 billion employees in the world, out of a total of 7 billion people.

  Perfectionist employees are more affected by all these things beyond just the workplace, which automatically leads us towards family problems too. Dysfunctional families lead to bad social behavior, which leads us towards a bad society, and so on. But let's just stop overthinking and be practical about these things.

  For the record, I don't have any shreds of proof or evidence for what I just said. It's just one of my ungrounded, unverified, untested, unfounded, unsubstantiated, unproven thoughts. I'm not exactly stretching my vocabulary. It's just my judgement on the ungrounded, unverified, untested, unfounded, unsubstantiated, unproven, etc. Okay, just a thought.

• perfectionism as an excuse: 

  
  
  
  • I recently read Atomic Habits, and there is a principle in the book called the Least Effort Rule that states that humans are more reliable in ways that include less friction, and by friction, I mean the efforts and work that we put in to get the best results.
  • This rule is also being used in businesses by making websites and apps more friendly to the users and leading them towards their purpose with the least effort. and developing a craving in their brains, which leads to the revisitations of the users. which sounds totally manipulative, crafty, cunning, calculating, wily and devious to me. Again, it's not the stretching of my vocabulary, it's most certainly a judgement. It's not any sort of disrespectful opinion that mocks anyone.
  • So, as we all know, not doing something needs an outstanding excuse and a story to tell ourselves and that story feels like good at that time for not doing that certain thing that is beneficial to you in the future. And by the outstanding story, I mean the perfectionism. We often tell ourselves that we are not taking action because the circumstances are not that perfect for us. which, in my opinion, is the easiest way to fool ourselves.
  • After fooling and failing in certain areas in our lives, now we are going to discuss the most effective ways and ideas to overcome perfectionism.

• Ways to overcome the perfectionism

  So we just found out that perfectionism is more of a problem than a superpower, so after searching the hell out of web pages, I found out some of the best ways as follows.

• So the first way is from the book Show Your Work, written by Austin Kleon, which says, "Be an amateur." An amateur refers to a lover of her work who pursues it in the spirit of love (in French, the word means "lover"), regardless of the potential for fame, money, or career—who frequently has the upper hand over the professional. Because they have little to lose, amateurs are willing to try anything and share the results. The idea behind this tip is to put yourself out there without second-guessing yourself. The more you practice something, the more you become good at that thing, and we are less likely to hesitate the next time when we have practiced it so often. 

And, according to the book Atomic Habits, each time you repeat an action, you activate a specific neural circuit associated with that habit. This means that simply putting your rep in is one of the most critical steps you can take to encoding the new habit, and in this scenario, our habit is to put ourselves out there every single day without second-guessing ourselves. 

 

To give an example of this theory, the students in a particular study improved the most, while those who merely theorized about perfect photos did not. As this quote goes, lack of self-awareness is poison; reflection and review are the antidotes. Just putting ourselves out there is not going to improve us unless we are reflecting and reviewing what we are doing. Are we doing the wrong thing over and over again? These sorts of things need to be fixed. So just practice the thing without trying to be flawless and try to improve yourself along the way.

• Valuing time :

This is one of the most important things in the whole universe. We are going to spend days just waiting for the right circumstances to get started on your desired thing. We must all recognize that we have a limited amount of time on this planet. We don't know about the afterlife and neither about our brain, but the thing is that we live an imperfect, healthy, and full of mystery life without wasting it trying to be perfect. Do the things you want to do at the right time without wasting it. As the Bhagavad Gita says, "it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection.”

• So let's move on to the next idea, which is an exercise in therapy. which goes like this: Think about your life at 100. which I found out on the choosingtherapy.com. link will be in the description. According to the authors of this article, they say that you must reflect on the fact that does perfectionism fit into the life you want to look back on? Let's consider that we are all aware of the fact that what we want to look back on. And let's beat the perfectionism.
  
  

• And here it comes, our next idea, which is to learn to take criticism. This reminds me of the quote that says to learn who rules over you, you are not allowed to criticize. which implies that criticizing someone is indirectly ruling over their desires and thoughts. By these things, I mean ruling over them. We are biological human beings and we take everything for granted, except the criticism and the unhealthy opinions of others towards us. It all happens this way, just like it happens with this person.
  
  
  His name is Jeffry. At some point in his past, he was unable to do something, and for that particular thing, people criticized him, and now he thinks he is the most terrible and undeserving person in the world. and he has created a rigid and inflexible image of himself to this day. He is the most undeserving person in the world. When he receives criticism, his past is triggered, and he blames himself for the criticism heaped on him. So in order to not become Jeffery, you need to make yourself more flexible, and by flexible, I mean that you need to stop being the person you think they think you are and become the person you truly desire to become. As the writer and philosopher Cooley says today, I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.

• And the last thing I would say is go to therapy. Youtube videos will not be able to help you overcome your perfectionism. If you are a perfectionist, then there is something deep down in your heart that is influencing you to be perfect. And therapists have an advantage when it comes to digging deep into your hearts and minds. And finding that burden you are carrying around and will help you to overcoming that.
  

  And that's all for now. I would like to listen to your interests in the comment section. I just started writing the blogs along with a Youtube channel, so stay connected, stay healthy, and keep growing.

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